My Caliban, on the other hand well drawn and forsooth...sticks to...his stick.
I wiggle each character’s characteristic
and they come alive speak the lines, I pray you,
trippingly upon my tongue “Come to me with a thought!”
I command my paper people.
“Your thoughts I cleave to!” they flash into my consciousness.
“Ariel, my Ariel...” fine-tooled from foil
that comes from fabled Consulate & Woodbine packets.
“Ah, my trusty sprite...” dangles from a purple thread that
is borrowed from me Mam’s sewing basket.
All is well in this my make-shift
Shakespeare theatre made from Kellogg’s
Cornflakes packets.
See the great **** crow under the proscenium!
Weetabix boxexs construct the wings.
Rows of Nite lights serve as footlights.
And, so...let the Masque begin!
I hum bits of Adeste Fideles....then sing
as Prospero & Ariel do their thing.
“Solua domus dagus!” my voice rings out
but see how dangerous a nine year old knee
can be to paper theatre.
The floodlights being knocked over the stage flames in amazement.
My patchwork Globe of Cornflake and Weetabix boxes
burns to the ground
only Ariel survives in an all too blackened shrunken
crumpled piece of foil.
I exit ( pursued by a clip on the ear )
the profession of producer of the plays thereof the only begetter of
this ensuing story lost, alas my lack, to me!
But wait, is this a football I see before me?
Then play on Dinger Dwyer! And ****** be him who first cries hold!
We cry "*******!" and let slip the dogs we are!
I was afraid that people might be offended by the word "*******!" so I pushed Prospero out onto the stage to apologise for such language but as usual he was completely off his stick. "Oh Puck..." I cried but Puck said: "No way am I going out there and apologising for your ***** work....no way" but anyway and anyhow push came to shove and he ended up on his rear on the boards and had to come up with something!
"If we shadows have offended...." he blurted out and me and all the other characters cheered him on. I gave him a big hug when he came off stage! Caliban just jeered and said: "What's wrong with rowlocks?" "*******!" we said and Caliban just scratched his head and went away singing "Ban Ban Caliban...got a new master...got a new man!"
Sometimes it's hard to keep the characters in check...don't know how old Shakey did it! "Where there's a Will...there's a way!" as he always said to me over a pint of Guinness.