oh how dreams don't come true
you sighed deeply into the night

looking at me like some sort of resolution had arrived
i was not there to wash away the life you had known
i chose to make life better for each of us

that was not going to happen

my life plan was to live
your life plan was already in shambles

there was no blue print
no scale model
just ideals

long dreamt ideals of who i should have been for you
you said i lied to you
that you were disillusioned with the idea of who i was

am i Copperfield?
there were no smoke or mirrors
only your addiction and vanity

Houdini?
i never tried to escape
into the countless bottles that accumulated

Blackstone?
i only tried to put you back together
every day after you tried to tear yourself and us apart

the magic was all around us and some days you even saw it
most nights you cut right through it

if i was your illusion
then you became the analogy

you might be my 1 great love
but you will never be a mistake

nothing hurt more than the words in your eyes

you said you became poison
was i the catalyst to that transformation

there is talk of mole hills now

then you spoke of our dreams

i even made the purchase
you finally broke me

there you were
moving brightly down civilized lane
basking in the glow of someones technicolor dream
was it even yours?

you finally sold it to me and here i sit
thinking of all those dreams

i
never
dreamt

missing things only you could have fed me


i have a mirror now
and i find myself looking

you tried to fill the ever growing void deep in me

i failed you

because the only things that kept me going
were the things you hated most

i feel the void and i feed the void
but it is sated because it is me
not something coerced into belief
neither is it a curse to which i was bequeathed

the void was here before you
the void will live beyond me
i will live before it takes me
  
yet as i go about those days
etched on the back of hand
will be the broken vision
of that life plan