Come to me when you're ready, I've been waiting so anxiously,
In this moment I'm nothing, but in this moment you feel like everything,
I stayed up until the sun pushed away the moon, I've been waiting so patiently,
I'm so ******* sick and I can't take a breath without coughing, but I can't blame it on you, you just take so much of my breath away, effortlessly,
I do this **** to myself purposely but I don't have a purpose, not for you, and definitely not for me,
I do all of this subconsciously, I'm a wreck, a ******* waste, but I'm trying my best, please come back to me,
I'll get better, for the both of us, I promise, I'll stop everything

I don't know what makes me more bitter, the fact that I'll never be able to get over it or the fact that I'll never get any ******* closure,
Or maybe I'm just bitter because of the way you lead me on, like you were something so ******* special, something not to be stepped on,
But I guess my body is a doormat, only a stepping stone for you in hopes you'll be able to find a home,
You'll never find yourself in anyone else so stop ******* trying, and for god's sake, just tell me you're going to hurt me next time so at least I'll be warned

I guess heartbreakers like you don't need a trigger warning,
I know exactly what I'm getting myself into, I know I'll do it to myself to find some kind of solace but I know you won't say goodbye in the morning and everything about it will be so ******* hurtful,
But I'll do it anyways, and knowingly, I'll grab a hold of you and pull your heartstrings just to hear the music and makeup some kind of false love to make all of this feel like it's purposeful,
But I know there's no purpose to this at all,
I'll break my own heart over this just to keep learning how to build stronger walls,
And I hate myself for that,
I hate that I feel so ******* small,
I hate this and I hate myself but I can't find anything in me that hates you and that's what hurts most of all,
You'll never be there for me but you keep coming back because you know I can't just watch you fall

*******, I don't need you, I just need cigarettes and alcohol and poetry and loud music and good friends and genuine lovers who'll take care of me until the end,
And I can't wait until I can fall asleep again,
It's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep and that's your fault,
So I'm writing this ****** poem for you while my mind feels gray and dull hoping that everything in my body just turns numb

I'm sorry I wasn't enough, but I'm not sorry about this poem,
I just hope these other people can love you like you want them to,
Just know that I won't be here when you come back, but I'd love to see it when it happens, I bet you're even more beautiful when you crawl

I guess this is what you get for breaking a poet's heart