I can't tell you where I am
For us I never had a plan

Every time I'm about to reveal what I want to say
I harden up and push away
Because I only know how to keep myself at bay

I constantly want to tell you that I miss you
There will always be so much I want to do
To be re-engulfed in our own taboo
Everything we were starting before I withdrew

I speak vague because that's most sincere
When truth is my biggest fear
Cut my own voice off so thoughts will always be unclear
Because it's so much easier than to adhere
Simultaneously wishing and denying that these feelings reappear

And I wonder how the self-inflicted confusion began
The reasons why I habitually ran
Even after I realized you were the man
That I truly wanted hand in hand

I'm unaware of what you want to display
We both assume that it's all okay
But I'm only comfortable enough to leave communication grey

The terrifying feelings inside we're too afraid to let brew
When uncertainty is all we've ever been through