ALL THE WAY FROM 1967

I can still hear myself
crying

all the way from 1967
when I was 9.

The crying has never stopped
echoing through all the ages

I've ever been.

You: had died and
I had asked

God to give you
back.

When that didn't work.
I asked for a swap.

I tried to put it as simply as I
could

so that even a God
could understand.

"Take me - instead..."
I said to God

as if talking to some foreigner
in a too loud voice

as if that would....
"..put her back!"

He didn't.

I had the feeling that
He couldn't.

"Some God you are!"
I howled in disbelief.

I went out in the Curragh Plains
and wept.

And wept.

So that only a few hundred sheep
and some scattered clouds

could hear.

The clouds were only here
for the day.

The sheep lived only
for the moment.

Almost 5,000 acres
could not contain my grief.

The Curragh blazed yellow
with furze.

The world was as beautiful as
it could ever be.

But not for me.

I keep trying to go back
to the me of then

take him in my arms
give him the comfort I

never had
but like God

...I can't.

I can still hear his forever
crying

this 9 year old boy
who I always am

crying all the way
from 1967.