and it was just a kiss
a quick peck on the lips right?
I shouldn't be so upset
but hell, I don't now what's worse
the memories or  words
both haunted me filling my head with lies
lead to trouble with other guys

you see, I eventually found someone, someone good
I found my first real boyfriend
I told him what had happened
he said he promised he'd never do that to me
and for a time it was true, everything was fine

but then he decided to test the waters
wade into the deep end, but I couldn't swim
I lost my breath, thrashed searching for air
digging nails for a grip on reality
and we continued this dangerous dance
but I made the music stop, said no
said I've had enough
he took my naivety and fear he told me
"It's okay, I've got you"
"if we do this enough you'll get used to it"
had the audacity to say "what about my needs"


and at that point, I went numb
I know it's dumb but it's easier
it is easier to hold my tongue and face it
than it is to speak and hold my ground
just to be buried beneath it
he pushed lines, lines that were set from day one
saw them as suggestive speed limits rather than stop signs
so he slowed down, did a drive by
he drove into me and away with confidence and any remaining pride

it got to the point where makeup couldn't hide cuts
laughter couldn't hide tears
he smothered the light from me
I began to fancy the idea of cars colliding with trees
curled up, head on my knees

my saving grace was my friends
I thank them for showing me sense
and with sweating palms and teary eyes
I painfully, finally, called it quits
it had become so much more than a kiss