Looking for love in different faces
Looking for love in carnival mirror beauty
Alex does this
Tells himself that she might actually love him back this time
He sees them all perfectly
Falls for their touch
Can’t tell the difference between passion and love
The difference between being caught up in the moment
And when the moment actually ends
*I am going to **** you as hard as we hate ourselves*
It takes a long time to actually make love to somebody
And being caught up in the moment hasn’t ended yet
So Alex doesn’t realize this
But it ends eventually
Ends with him wondering
Why is there so much wrong with me
When all I wanted
Was a warm body
Because I don’t know how to sleep alone
I don’t know how to sleep alone
Alex looks at this new girl
Gives her his weight
In patience
In presence
In hope
She doesn’t bite
Doesn’t take the bait
She smiles and removes her clothes
So he can see her carnival mirror clearly
He only sees himself
He wants to stretch her out
So he can make sense of the lies next time
He knows
If he were really broken
She wouldn’t see herself either
Wouldn’t run scared at her own image reflected back
Alex no longer has a carnival mirror
The truth is the scariest thing on the planet
Since like
Ever
And Alex is honest
Knows
People don’t shatter when they feel broken
They melt and make harder
They stretch out
It takes a long time to love yourself
It takes even longer for someone else to love you
Like you want to be loved
Alex has been waiting around
For almost that long
He hasn’t seen that yet
He doesn’t know what his own reflection
Really looks like
But if he’s lucky
He will