It's you again.
Clearly I have
a short memory
Because, somehow here
we are. Roles
seem a bit
more reversed this
time. You have
the world to
conquer, and I
have the chance
to watch as
you grasp your
happy ending.

Congratulations, you deserve it.

I have
this nagging habit of
not saying what I
mean. You are growing
and that is all
good and well and
I have the small
problem of wanting to
steal away your time.

Excuse me I know
that's selfish but I
am making up for lost
time. You see, I also
need the reminder to
breath and take care of
myself. Unfortunately, I know
staying in a relationship
with an emotionally unavailable
human hurts more at the end. The
labels don't matter. The time spent in
the same room in each other's company
will ultimately lead to the same feelings
and if you are unwilling to spend the time
to do so we will drift apart. I'm not saying that
feelings are a definite, and I'm not saying that you
don't feel similarly but I am feeling vulnerable and what I
know is I am comfortable in your friendship.
But we are already past friendship. And you
willingly stepped into that role, but
what I haven't told you is how long
it took me to step into it.

I get attached,
and I bounce
from one human
to the next
but out of
necessity you have
closed off your
ability to be attached
for long term.
I was just
warming up to
the idea. No
expectations is an
arrangement that I
have participated in
for a long time.
That path only goes so far.
I am not afraid of an end,
but limiting the scope of what
we are allowed to feel
hurts the friendship.
Distanced, we are,
from human connection
which is what this is all about.
At least from my end.
Put your trust in me. When
it's over, we will know.