one morning, Jack awoke with a distinct feeling that something was not quite right. as he peeled his eyes from a crusty sleep his suspicions were further aroused by a marked loss of sight from his right eye as though he was peering through a thick charcoal jungle he clutched his hand towards his face and was alarmed to find a rather substantial lock of hairs protruding from his right eyebrow. wondering if perhaps he might still be in a world of waking dreams where one couldn’t really trust one’s intuitions, he wandered over to the light switch, flicked it on/off a couple of times. having reached the conclusion that he was definitely not dreaming, and that his retinas (or his left one, at least) were definitely receptive to fluctuating light levels he made his way to the bathroom to inspect his face, with one hand bemusedly fondling his recently grown eye-brow fringe. in the bathroom he stumbled across his wife sitting on the toilet. on catching sight of her hairy husband, she let out a deranged scream. "darling, you'll alarm the neighbours" said Jack. but his wife, who did not seem to be sufficiently worried about alarming the neighbours, or anyone in her resident universe continued to make strange warbling noises. so, Jack instead decided to study his growth in the kitchen sink. although not made from exemplary reflective material, the sink was able to confirm his impression that his right eyebrow had, overnight, been subject to an alarming rate of growth. his wife appeared in the doorway. “I’m sorry for screaming. it was only because I thought you were a pirate” she said. and though he knew that this was just one in many of a long string of inter-marital lies that bounced between them, he let it pass. a decision having been decided upon in perhaps not the most democratic manner possible, Jack's wife fetched the kitchen scissors from the drawer by the dishwasher. as she snipped away, chunks of black fell soft like feathers from sunburnt wings and landed on the Lino. Jack felt inexplicably sad. they went off to work as usual, and no one noticed the jagged edge of his once pirated-eyebrow.