today i found out that i don't belong in the city
that close perimeters and heat and hustle is not me
that the glint of glare on high glass is not the shine my eyes need
though sun on open roads and in trees is and the feeling of discreet
that is what it means to feel free

i want to drive on open roads
convenience stores, dusk til dawn, houses that actually come built with lawns
'no trespassing' signs on paved paths
not the sound of a cars horn, but of the chatter and noise of a birds laugh
i want to feel alone in myself
all the while feeling more of me than any else
i want to feel good
and look good
and let you take me out when the night is pleasant

but to come home with another foreign sunset
a homemade, plant based, natural toothpaste kind of place
with people of all kinds
waving hello and goodbye
feeling flushed and content with the wink of an eye

i wish, if for nothing else at all,
to feel at home in this world
i wish for my time to be finally made mine.

i wish to feel present
never five steps ahead of time