I'm not sure how you feel about me. I'm not sure if you even love me or if those words are simply compliant on the fact that I said I love you. Darling your blue eyes have turned my life into a turbulent shore and I'm so afraid to be lost at sea. I'm so focused on he who came before me. He was your "beautiful infinite mystery" and I'm second place. I want to love you. I want to see your eyes light up like when the sun breaks over the horizon over the endless ocean of your soul. I want to hold you close to me and feel your heartbeat like some primeval rhythm conforming my soul to your soliloquy. I want this love to not be lost among the forlorn follies of forgotten kisses or fake forged I love you's. Maybe we can make this into something more than recurring connections of skin and bone and feel something deeper then the backseat of my car. I want to connect to your soul. The hardest part is knowing you're not over him. The hardest part is knowing when we kiss you're probably thinking of how he held you. The hardest part is knowing How when I stare at your eyes you only imagine how different his deep eyes contrast mine. The hardest part is knowing no matter how hard I try I don't think I'll ever be able to surpass How he made you feel. The hardest part is knowing I'm not him when it's him that you want. The hardest part is knowing you don't mean it when you say I love you. The hardest part is knowing that after all this I may not be enough. After all this, I'm not sure how you feel about me.