i don't know if i look weak anymore
perhaps i've changed appearance
unrecognizable to others
and to myself
i no longer know who i am

i ask for advice
only to be given time
to wait
just wait it out
just keep holding on
well how long is holding on?
how long until this all stops?
you say to tailor on
to remember and practice and revise and do something and feel something and god ****** why can't  i feel anything?

you've felt numb before
this isn't it
this is beyond numb
this is disorder and some

you float on
'hold on'
but it never comes along
there's not much hope you can find in songs
routine is taking too long

i want to fall through the floor i stand on