How do I write to you?
You're the fabric of life,
you've screamed it throughout all history
through every waking thing
through every collapse and creation,
you are there.

At times you are a ghost,
appearing but not being.
That longing feeling for you
everyone gains at least once in their lifetime.
I believe we as poets feel it the most,
the ones with too many words
the ones that ache the most.
For you are our muse
and often aren't even there.

I hear you in the music that plays against my ears,
the sweet strum of his voice, as he sings to me.
The longing I feel to have his hands on my hips,
as we sway across the kitchen
with Marvin Gaye in the background,
as he hums the tune against my scalp.

You're there in my sisters smile,
the glow in her cheeks that arose when he finally said,
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
and for almost three months, I have never seen my sister ever so beautiful as you have made her.

I feel you in the atmosphere of a Saturday morning
spent with groggy eyes,
but with full hearts,
as my sisters and I jump into our parents four poster bed
excitement in our eyes
and You in our hearts
as laughter erupts from all our throats.

I see you in the rage of couples,
as they disagree on the trivial things,
and don't just focus on what brought them together;
You.

Love you are impractically in everything.

I feel you in the tears I've cried,
when I remember my grandma and papa,
oh, how they used to be my everything.

I remember how empty you made me feel when I was a little eleven year old girl,
a whole new world set before me,
and it seems I took a wrong turn,
tumbling down a rabbit hole of depression.
I tried to claw my way out,
but I just couldn't
until you led me to the greatest love I'll ever know,
the only One who will never forsake me.

The frustration I felt when I first had my heart broken
how he had played my heart, twirled it across an empty universe,
before tossing me into that black abyss of loneliness,
forcing me into one the darkest of solitudes.
I'd given away too much of who I was
and that memory will forever leave me guarded.

You led me to one perfect boy,
one who soon became my world,
but you placed fear in my heart and whispered,
"Time says you're not yet ready, nor is he. Just wait a little longer for me.
Focus on me, but in different forms.
Focus on Him,
focus on your words,
I'll give them to you,
you need only ask."

And I have.
I still await the man you'll present to me,
the man I hope will be too engaged on Him
that He will have to whisper in his ear and say,
"That's her.
Get up, go my son."
He will be the one, who will break down the unbreakable walls around my heart,
because the only one I've let in through those walls it seems
is the He who created me.

And I'll be patient.
I will wait for him, because I know that whomever he is,
and wherever he may be,
he and I were predestined.
Two stars, destined to crash into each other,
creating such a Love that it is the brightest anyone had seen.

I feel you in the way I'll run
when we have waited long days
and wasted nights away from each other,
and he'll spin me and around for forever,
and then keep holding me close,
sighing as he breaths me in,
and I breathe in he,
his head atop my brown bush of curls,
a hand around my waist
another tied into my hair
while both my arms are clinging to him
as if he's a cliff,
and I'm going to slip and fall
and lose him.

I don't need to fawn over the young boys that pass me by,
barley giving me a second glance,
because one day he'll be there,
no longer a small boy,
but a man of God
and our Love story will be devotedly imperfect,
for if it were perfect,
our story would go nowhere,
for we would be stuck in Time,
just awaiting Death,
and not experiencing you,
Love,
which is in everything.

You are a collateral beauty, Love,
perfectly imperfect,
unchangeable,
just as you should be.

You were in my pain,
in my suffering,
but oh Love,
you pushed me the way I needed to go.
Onto your path of light,
towards the Kingdom,
through the people I've encountered,
through the words I've read,
through every feeling I've felt at once.
You are there.
You still are.

You always be.
And still you will be,
the only feeling we will need in our days on high,
upon the highest of clouds,
our fingers brushing the stars,
as we now can touch the cosmos
for you're all we need in Him.