Why can't I see the world with different eyes?
I go through life with doubt and negativity.
When I show something positive, I take a beating for it.
Either I'm full of ****, or I'm "too good to be true".
I just don't understand it.
It's easy for you to label me a problem without wanting to solve it.
Am I one of those poor ***** that had potential, but fell through the cracks?
What would they say in a eulogy for me?
Would there even be one?
"Shed a tear for a hapless sap who never gave anything back".
Yeah.
Seems like a thing to say about a lifetime lived in misery because no one cared enough to extend a hand.
Good for a laugh and a good time?
That's me.
Anything else?..nope.
When I'm happy, people actually go out of their way to take it away from me.
Don't I matter enough in this world to live my adult life in some kind of happiness?
Guess not.
I was told that crying is a way for the body to heal itself from grief..
Then why can't I?
It physically hurts me to cry.
Like someone taking a soup spoon and scooping my eyes out of my head.
And for the simple fact that I just can't do it.
"Cheer the **** up" they'd say.
"Stop being such an *******" I would have to hear.
If I could, I would.
I've tried.
And I keep trying.
You create the monster that I am not.
You judge me for the ****** that I can't be.
See the world through my eyes.
Take a walk in my shoes, and I promise you,
you would thank God that you are not me.
I have a purpose here.
For what, I do not know.
My true enemy is myself,
and you all know this.
So, you sit and stare, and point, and laugh.
You're **** right I'm the bad seed.
I should have been the abortion.

©2006 Dead Men Publishing