I wonder if you will ever stop hurting me, if we will ever stop hurting each other
I understand your intentions, after all, I've seen your soul
as pure as it was, you've hurt me continuously until I could no longer sense the pain
all I knew was that I carried it around with me, it became a part of me
it would be my first morning thought
it would crawl up inside my body and leave me trembling on the bathroom floor
it would put its hand in mine and walk through entire tragedies with me
the pain would never let me go
it would put me to sleep but never at ease
and I tried to shut it out
to lock the doors of my mind
but even months after the pain stopped occurring
it came rushing back
leading scars and flashbacks behind it
and you allowed it to take over my head and break through my chest with not an ounce of mercy
you could see through my soul
you knew your way around my mind
and so, you allowed it
you will never truly understand this but I helplessly fell in love you
I have written you thousands of millions of words that I have never sent
you were my best friend, my family, my entire world
I would have cherished you until the day I died
and now I understand more than ever that what doesn't **** you only prepares you for emotional death
where were you when I needed your apology, your presence, perhaps not your sympathy, but your commitment
where were you?
nowhere to be found, that is where you were
and now you're everywhere and I don't want you but I need you to go
to take your words, your memories, your entire existence that means nothing, and go
because I've had enough and I can't take any more of this
I don't need a closure and I certainly don't need you
you took years of my life and made them yours, you took my time, my secrets, my patience, my kindness and made it all yours
what more could you possibly want?
I wish I could write more
but my words fail me
because you took everything
and left me with a lack of expression
and a void that I'm still trying to fill