maybe it is me after all
I’m ******* up I must confess
but with everything that you are you’ve been my all
took me a while to realize and now I know what’s best
months of longing through summer and fall
got used to the pain and the stress
I started hesitating, whether or not to call
I loved you wholeheartedly and you’ve shown me less
you were always running in circles, always wanted to roll
going to different places, placing out a test
you’ve been with different people that’s what I’ve been told
wasting time and emotions, calling it experience I guess
you wanted me first and foremost
I was yours by all means, yours to caress
I wanted a couple of simple things but I wanted you the most
so I went straight to holding your hands, pursuing happiness
feelings turned to affection and before I knew it I was deeply in love
rolled a dice, played mind games, but this wasn’t chess
our love was demanding nothing less than tough
but it was soothing and necessary, like some kind of anti-stress
you and I, we were far beyond words
we didn’t care to show or impress
it was the vibe and connection we had in store
we were different in spite of being a mess
see being perfect wasn’t what I aimed for
being with you elaborated supernovas in my chest
you could say it was painful but at least it wasn’t dull
all what I was focused on is your smile and your scent
I gave you my whole being and you wanted more
after a while I just wanted some rest
I was tired of being held down to the core
in the depths of my soul you owned residence and to you I was just a guest
is that what you call love or was it just for show?
breaking each others’ hearts while we claim we’re harmless
we cared about each other in ways no one could’ve known
but certain circumstances lead us to being careless
everything I could’ve seen and already saw
everything we’ve implanted in ourselves to avoid shallowness
everything about you that you think is a flaw
I want you for all that it is, I want your soul; celestial and flawless
but my dear where am I supposed to go
when the feeling of your skin against mine is no longer a bliss
within the warmth of your embrace I found my home
but is home really a feeling or is it a person you miss?
healing a person wasn’t something I’d know
to me, happiness was never a quest
you reached out for my help as you stood low
and suddenly I was willing to answer every request
now I lay in bed, covered in my sheets; as white as snow
energy drained, experiencing helplessness
the worst part is I predicted this all
despair and sorrow, nothing dares to hurt less