your plans are collapsing again you try to consult them even if it drives you insane with every collapse you get panicked even more if you fail this time you can't pay your score you see it's not working your hands are shaky if this collapses again you know it will be achy you can't go back, you need to work hard this situation is so sensitive like a house of cards only 2 cards left and your work is done then you can say that you have won with full of concentration you want to place the 2 cards you are scared it might hurt like big sharp shards one single mistake and it's all over you realise how your once high chances become lower and lower you begin to sweat and your heart beats faster it reminds me of so many , especially a roller coaster a roller coaster with many starts but no goal you are still alonel in this pitch black hole there doesn't exist something like luck but you are so deep in your thoughts that you didn't notice it collapsing...