The moment
my fingers
curled away
from your heartbeat,
you held me up
to the sun, tried to find
the missing pieces
glowing in my eyes

From the moment
you first held me,
there was an understanding
passed between us (Mother,
you sheltered me) gently, I knew
a shifting ache in your bones
that grew on my lips
as surely as my own name

I grew up
on palm fronds
and astroturf,
tennis courts and
public pools pushing
the wanderlust
through my veins
like a sickness,

Mother,
you fostered
the dreaming
that marinated
in my head, pushed
child's sunglasses
over my face, and
you smiled thinking
of the brightness
my future must hold

You never knew
the agony of oceans,
the tear of the tide
ripping at my stomach,
you were disappointed
when I told you that
white-hot flames were
licking at my fingers,
threatening to escape --

You were disappointed
as your dreams fell
into the cradle of insomnia,
disappearing into a black hole
of doubt, my thoughts were leaves
dropping from my mouth
until they landed in your conscience,
floating in puddles made
from the liquid melting of your tears

Mother,
I never knew
the ocean's
stinging bite
would lap
against you
as it carried me
out to sea