Apr 2017
i don't mind walking amongst the trees alone as long as you are with me. i have left everyone else behind. because i know you're there for me. from your soft tar paper to your sweet tobacco leaves. i obsess over everything about you. for i grew you in this very forest. and i love the sparks that light up between us. and even though i’ve acquired heart disease. i know it was only for the good cause of giving my all to you. i like breathing you in. when i cough your smoke adds to the clouds and my gasps for breath accompany the silence. so i never feel too alone. i am constantly surrounded by the sound of the trees brushing in the wind that i get anxious to make my own. through day and through night i never have to worry about withdrawal because i know i always have you. but in my addiction i am guilty of being oblivious to every single one of your dangers.
i dropped you. and your intentions spread like wildfire. you burnt down my entire forest. and for the first time i could see all of the toxins within you. the way the heat melted my strength. the snap of the trees mirrored the break in my chest. they fell one by one. their thuds mimicked the thunder in my heart. and every rumble reminded me of your lethal comfort. for once all of the destruction you held behind your back was visible. and i had never seen anything more frightening and ruthless than watching hundreds of saplings that gave me life croak in less than a minute. and as the very last of them fell. eventually so did i. i laid down in the ashes as the sky went from light to dark. and the only fluorescence left was from the remains of small. crackling fires. i wondered why you had been so discreet of your evil desires if i had done the kindness of giving my life to you. and then it hit me that you had always known i wasn't doing a favor. but making a mistake. and through my own wants and dependence. i had disguised your evils myself. and as i breathed my last. i thought about how none would have been destroyed. if i had just been careful enough to hold you with more delicate hands.
i dropped you. and your intentions spread like wildfire. you burnt down my entire forest. and for the first time i could see all of the toxins within you. the way the heat melted my strength. the snap of the trees mirrored the break in my chest. they fell one by one. their thuds mimicked the thunder in my heart. and every rumble reminded me of your lethal comfort. for once all of the destruction you held behind your back was visible. and i had never seen anything more frightening and ruthless than watching hundreds of saplings that gave me life croak in less than a minute. and as the very last of them fell. eventually so did i. i laid down in the ashes as the sky went from light to dark. and the only fluorescence left was from the remains of small. crackling fires. i wondered why you had been so discreet of your evil desires if i had done the kindness of giving my life to you. and then it hit me that you had always known i wasn't doing a favor. but making a mistake. and through my own wants and dependence. i had disguised your evils myself. and as i breathed my last. i thought about how none would have been destroyed. if i had just been careful enough to hold you with more delicate hands.
