Apr 2017
i remember the nights i prayed for things i have now.
each time my eyes open in the morning to see the sunlight kissing the blinds, i know its a step closer to whatever is held in the ink stained pages of my story.
i tell myself i would rather focus on falling in love with my life than falling in love with a person,
that love was a word so overused for one another,
that i was not searching for my other half because i'm not a half.
but i know one part of me yearned to be cherished,
and knew falling in love with the journey included falling for people that made you feel risen.
people that make it known that my presence and absence means something to them,
individuals that make me forget yesterday and dream about tomorrow,
a person who will forget about checking the time when i'm around,
grace and mercy reflected off god,
because i belong to a patient god.
not to a hurry up and fix yourself god,
but a be still and let me heal you god.
not a why do you keep doing this god,
but a god who gives me the keys to break the cycle.
god is patient, and he is pleased to take his time with me.
someone who will be so soft and gentle toward my loud heart,
i'll be glad i kept it open,
and they'll even make me wonder why i ever thought of quieting it down.
a person who will see me, not who they wish me to be,
not the version of myself that makes them the most comfortable, not the one that is the most convenient to them,
but the genuine book without bindings, without edits, without covers.
somebody who could think about seven billion people experiencing this day differently, but would never want to trade places with anyone else after living a day by my side,
someone who i can turn to and truthfully tell them "out of all the things my hands have held the best by far is you"
a person that will tell me everything, not just talk about the weather,
someone who will make me their muse, pages smeared with words directed toward me
someone who i can write to at the end of a lifetime and mark the paper up saying
"i fell in love with the way you touched me without using your hands",
and i know that there are all kinds of love in the world but there is never the same love twice,
and i will be sure that ours is my favorite kind.
each time my eyes open in the morning to see the sunlight kissing the blinds, i know its a step closer to whatever is held in the ink stained pages of my story.
i tell myself i would rather focus on falling in love with my life than falling in love with a person,
that love was a word so overused for one another,
that i was not searching for my other half because i'm not a half.
but i know one part of me yearned to be cherished,
and knew falling in love with the journey included falling for people that made you feel risen.
people that make it known that my presence and absence means something to them,
individuals that make me forget yesterday and dream about tomorrow,
a person who will forget about checking the time when i'm around,
grace and mercy reflected off god,
because i belong to a patient god.
not to a hurry up and fix yourself god,
but a be still and let me heal you god.
not a why do you keep doing this god,
but a god who gives me the keys to break the cycle.
god is patient, and he is pleased to take his time with me.
someone who will be so soft and gentle toward my loud heart,
i'll be glad i kept it open,
and they'll even make me wonder why i ever thought of quieting it down.
a person who will see me, not who they wish me to be,
not the version of myself that makes them the most comfortable, not the one that is the most convenient to them,
but the genuine book without bindings, without edits, without covers.
somebody who could think about seven billion people experiencing this day differently, but would never want to trade places with anyone else after living a day by my side,
someone who i can turn to and truthfully tell them "out of all the things my hands have held the best by far is you"
a person that will tell me everything, not just talk about the weather,
someone who will make me their muse, pages smeared with words directed toward me
someone who i can write to at the end of a lifetime and mark the paper up saying
"i fell in love with the way you touched me without using your hands",
and i know that there are all kinds of love in the world but there is never the same love twice,
and i will be sure that ours is my favorite kind.
