you step out first
towelling and looking back
at me as I still
stand in the poor excuse for a shower
our first in this old wooden framed building
seemingly
every minute spent under the lukewarm water
contributing to to its imminent collapse
I so wish it was only us
ever before
and
ever after
I hope your short memory
only serves to remember
exclusively
my hands
my touch
this love
ours and only
We step outside
it is always mid to late afternoon
but never quiet
being together solves most everything
when you take it away
do it slow
make it as if you were dying in your sleep
instead of your life
you have this picture
of our bodies
spilled over one another
your leg camel coloured
and mine magnolia
entwined
until the object created cannot be defined nor personified
I never thought it before
now it lingers heavy
like a summer smog
disallowing me from remembering who I am
I want to become acutely aware
of these days
which we let pass
all the while knowing they are golden
it is the knowing
and simultaneously letting them deteriorate
which leaves me in a strange limbo
wanting to encapsulate something
unbeknownst even to myself
looking into your eyes
framed with spider lashes
I want to hold
and hold
and hold
its like I cant be close enough
you are never close enough
it cant be voiced
shown
mimicked
performed
described
it is nothing
but felt
and that is all it can be