choking on your own tears
throwing away your own self worth
thinking it can't get better
until it becomes worse

dreaded nights; running endlessly
bouncing lights; mornings shifting
torn between how I think
and how people want me to be

open eyes and I blink
yearning only to be happy
reversing time while my heart breaks
reversing time thinking of only heart break

didn't give enough to please
didn't say enough to make
you're mind sane and at ease
forgive me and my mistakes

I am sorry
I am sorry

I'm throwing myself my own
pity party
please attend and enjoy your time
while I ponder and continue to waste mine

I feel as bad as I think you do
but I apologized
maybe a bit too soon
cause you still think
it's all me
empty inside like a vacant room

mind is alone but wanting
to be adjacent with you
sitting alone but thinking
again of us two

cause at times my tears fall
like rain when it's storming outside
and at times I feel so small
only wishing to be by your side

the people that hate me
seem to be
unhappy with what things
they assume

but life would feel less imperfect
if my life was still spent with you

doing what you want to do
when it's cold at night
and you hold me tight
spinning around the room

reassuring me with beautiful thoughts
showing love with the gifts we bought
resting your head upon my shoulder
watching you grow as we grow older
you remember the things that I once told you

but they faze you like I never said them
and it fazes me that you oppress them

your emotions fade with your heart intact
I sit and read the things you say
that you simply say to attack

words causing sorrow
make me feel like
there's no tomorrow

making my once sane mind
into an insane kind
leaving me behind
as you lie and say you tried

it tears me apart knowing you didn't
I wait for you to come back any minute
even after all that was said

I would rather spend moments with you instead
rather than crying alone wrapped up in bed

and as I always say:
people aren't born malicious

people choose to act without intention
and what we had was fictitious
but every morning I always miss it
and every morning I always wish that
I could have said what was right
things that would make me feel better
or rest easy at night

I want to have what we use to be
I want more time to spend with you
I want to simply make you happy
but I'm no longer of your use

I was your issue
I was your library book
that was overdue
you told me that I was worth it
and that I was the one for you

but to you I was something to enjoy for a while
just someone to watch grieve
as you abandon me and leave
and continue in denial

to you, I was your little sin
so again, I guess you always win
you played your role so well
my heart burns
Just fake it; it's hard to tell

a smile fades into tears that fall
down to the floor
where my dreams reside
also where I keep
my ambition and all of my pride
you laugh as you step over me
left me without a warning
should have used more caution
sold away my efforts
like they were an auction
sold away to the highest bidder
taste left in my mouth tastes so bitter
I would take it back but also wouldn't
us together is something that shouldn't
but I miss you
I want to kiss you
I won't ever misuse
Or cause more issues
if you give me what I wanted
you're love and sympathy
but again I remind myself
that you're not missing me