XIX

Missed!
How the hell do you miss a ship?
There she was, slipping out of the harbor
Plain as a summer’s day
And there I was
On the harbor
Gashing in fury at my packed suitcase.

What will my family say?
Am I a failure?
Why can’t I do a single ******* thing
right?

I’ll dream of her tonight.
And night, and night.
Of my journey that wasn’t,
isn’t,
never will be.

I’m out of money and hope and fascination
and dreams
I’m going home,
now.
Godspeed to all I could never be.