Always Wonder, Never Know

Nothing can remedy loneliness once beloved is gone.
Nothing can soothe the burns of frustration and
longing for a thing that can never be restored or
verified as ever having existed at all.

These are the sacred words of never and always, the absolutes.
Their only valid usage; not tossed casually in with mundane things
nor wielded so carelessly by so many weak thinking humans.
No, these are the sacraments of eternity;
never knowing happiness or never knowing why,
instead always wondering.

No descent into any inferno will relieve him with substitute punishments,
not ever.
No failure, however spectacular, can again be used to club him numb,
not ever;
only infinity will again embrace him,
ever.

None of this will stop him
from praying to gods he does not believe in
for an insanity that won’t be granted;
he will remain on edge at the abyss, abandoned even by gravity,
unable to fall in.

Even death might not clear this from poor soul the memory
of the few who loved him despite his many failures,
fewer still whoever understood him,
nor prove release from one single thing.

He will revisit Distress and Dismay
at home; there no hero will save him.
No omnipotence will forgive him,
no time will heal him, not ever.