I search for the things that don't exist
I went from an optimist dreamer to a skeptic pessimist
I went from being a caring activist to narcissistic and selfish
I went from being mute to everyone wishing I had a muzzle
I went from knowing what I wanted to being indecisive and puzzled
I went from going along with what they said
To questioning everything that we did
I went from sweet to cold
From honey to bitter like mold
My heart had been sold
Where was my soul going to go
I was stumbling in the dark
While others decided my fate
I went from restless to sleeping the day away
What had happened to me I don't know
At first it didn't show
No one knew
Barely anyone knows
I pretend to have a handle
A grip on my life
All this time I've been slipping
Trying to hold onto the edge of the cliff
It's just a matter of time before someone does me the way scar did to Mufasa
Put the clock back up
I can't change the past
Broken bones get put in a cast
Trying to find people to fill my gap
But the void won't leave
I search for the things that don't exist
I lost my hope
But somehow hope finds me
Pleading for me to reverse the damage
My casualties inflicted
Oppressing affliction
My heart keeps asking when I'll stop playing the victim