if at once i began
the moment i was conceived--
when my mother told me she hear a bell-
a distinct ringing to communicate
the woman i should become

the road was paved before
i had the chance to choose, was i
wounded before the war,
did i travel here on a fearful prayer?

finding myself has been a echo location
at sea, sifting slivers in sand,
i thought I was a puzzle
but that is too friendly an analogy,
i am broken in a truly remarkable way
both a fine dust and momumental landscapes
risen and

           sunk.

unring the bell it it were spoken to soon,
make me whole before they bring me to ruin,
i'd rather be shattered if it meant I could heal,
don't take me back,
take me here,
take me hear.