Struggled Life

I was Lost most of my life wondering what is right
In my broken life
Dreams that had been lost a long time ago
Looking for answers that never came my way
Looking for the true light
In Gods eyes
I had been pushed beaten down call so many bad names
That would make the rain come down in shame
A darken road is what I hold
My mother ,father lost their way in what Love really means
They even left me helpless very young
I didn't have no hope of everlasting or evening
Finding something to call home or anyone
To show me the right way to go
People would look at me in a sad shameless way
up and down say bad things to make want to give up
In life that made me even cry
I sometimes wishing I would had died
where I never had to walk this kind of life
I kept holding on to the unknown of hopes and dreams
That never came to me
One day I hope God would find me and look my way
Love me and set me free from all my agony
And call me his own
Forgive me for the way I had to live
I had always been too scared to even pray along
That darken highway
I always thought in my heart that God was too far
away to even care about my life anyways
A God of judging everything I do
A God that I thought was only looking at the bad in me
thinking he was just out to get me too
then one cold storm of the past came rushing in my heart
That made me numb all over again
I cried and I cried wishing God would love me
Clean me up from this life I live in sin
Take my broken heart and make it mind
Then I look to the heavens on hands and knees
I gave it a try to let God in my darken life
I started praying giving God all my pains
All my shames
This had gone on for hours and hours
and the days on in I cried out my sins
I started telling him what I was feeling
And it was something like this
It’s You oh God that I must of missed
Oh God I know I am a sinner I was born
That way you see everyone looks down on me
and call me a black seed
I am a Homeless child that is who I truly am
I had been tossed about like the raven winds
Lost with so much sins
Oh God I don't know why I am crying out to you
But what else can I do
I know you must have better things to do
So I will let you go but please God open
Your heart and you will find mine in
Your hands amen
The night had past and all my pains had
Gone away and my life had never been
The same true love came my way
Walking With Jehovah God
And he even calls me friend.

Poetic Judy Emery © 1989
The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery