I want
to descend into madness.

I want to crash to the ground,
and make this whole city chake.

I want to let go
to feel this body collapse.

But I cannot..
If I were to do that
who
would assure my mother
that she has not failed me?
That she did not soak me in this while we were entwined?

I am my mother's sadness amplified.

If I surrender,
to my own madness
I sentence her,
to be swallowed hers.