the days that are toughest
man
they're tough
with loneliness
that seeps between
my sordid grasp
lays upon the dirt
squeals with pain
hurt and disgust
disdain

i never think
about the next tough day
because they come
one right after
the other
bleeding
smearing together like
the lovely
canvases artists cry upon

loneliness wasn't
pretty to me
until the day you left
because the sky
had been blue
the night was
calm
and you were still
so so
heartbreakingly beautiful
to me with
your terrified eyes
and frightened mouth

the days get tougher
and sometimes better
but mostly
just more
and more grey
they blur
and swim in front of me
passive
tame and calm

you never knew
just how
much someone
could love you
until she
held your hand
kissed your frightened
mouth
closed your
terrified eyes
for you every
night
   *and i learned that sometimes loneliness is the best someone deserves