I'm going to lose you
This isn't the first time
We never really had a stable relationship

I'm starting to think I'm a *******
I love someone who doesn't love me back
It's pointless but I can't help it

The truth smacks me in the face everyday
And I wake up to the weight on my heart
Thoughts race through my mind
Even when it's silent, I have no quiet time

I'm trying not to ignore it
But all my feelings just seem depressing
By the days that pass they lessen
It was always I'm going to lose you
I'll never see you again

And there is no risks now
Because I think he knows I still love him
I was so focused on losing him

But I lost something more valuable
I lost my sanity
I lost my grip on reality
I lost my hope
The spark in my eye
I lost myself
And I can't deny

At the end of the day it's only me
I'm the only one to blame for this
Pain is what I'm used to though
So even though I know I should
I won't let it go

I'm afraid of pain
And I thought that if I didn't run from it or avoid it or ignore it I'd be fine
But all facing it did was hurt me
Face your fears
I tried
I didn't even deny

And all it did was destroy me
So now I'm hiding from my problems
Not going to try to run
I'm lost
My heart feels done