Rob American Horse, descendant of Chief American Horse had called me to inform me of my fathers passing today. I had just woken up on my best friends living room floor. The reality hadn't settled in right away, I maintained my composure and made a few more phone calls home to confirm. I knew my father was very sick, having had a stroke and 2 heart attacks already, he couldn't bare the pain any longer and so he pulled the trigger.

It was a 20 hour drive for me to get home, I could not sleep. About 3 hours into the drive home, I had to pull over. I broke, the salty tears were streaming down my face and I was on my knees leaning against my car. I had never felt so weak in my life, it hit me and I realized I would never see him again and for the first time, he would not answer the door when I came home.

With every passing hour, I became weaker. I was trembling, feeling everything all at once, I lost count of how many times I shattered that day.

When I finally arrived home, I did not speak to anyone. I drove straight to my fathers house, as I stepped out of the car I immediately burst into tears from what I had seen... he dug his own grave. The most important man in my life is gone.

7 days later, I watched them bury him. Though I did not cry in front of anyone, I knew I had to walk tall for my family and so I did.

I did it father. I stood tall.