My heart is too heavy.
I am weighed down
by the emptiness you left behind
in your goodbye,
and I’ve been stumbling over myself
trying to catch my footing
while attempting to rid my body of the toxins
you left me poisoned with,
polluting the rivers of my veins.

You would think I have
nothing left
to keep me going after
I poured all I had out into a glass
that was overflowing
with what I was more than willing to offer,
just for you to become
greedy for more than I could possibly give.
You left me with nothing
but the ache of my bones shattering
and memories impaired by the sound of
your footsteps walking away.

I learned about myself
while writhing in heartache.
I can still love so hard
and so much
despite the hollowed out shell
you left me in.
I realized I’m a walking contradiction,
composed of a transcendent gift and
a crippling curse,
and for that I can’t help but admire my heart.

It was this admiration that helped me.
I stopped letting my tears soak the pillow at night
and my lungs cleared
so I started breathing easier,
no longer clogged with the lies
you forced into my lungs.
I shoved your smile into
the vacant corners
of my memories for them to
stay and collect dust.
I turned your venom
into glitter that beamed
with the power of
knowing you would
never come back.

I finally picked up the shards of my
splintered bones
and made them stable enough to keep the
heaviness of my heart upright,
knowing well that they were the
only shelter I needed.
I called myself my own home
and let it be fueled by
my gift of a heart that
won’t ever stop beating.