Silence unwanted turns every breath to a choking attempt at salvaging my sanity.
Words fill my throat like *****, or death, but I swallow and send them to the pit of my stomach.
My eyes catch you now and wonder why I’ve let myself hold you, kiss you, love you, a fallacy
that has forced me to let my words die, rotting in the pit among the maggots and the heartache.

I bellow to the bottomless hell “Lord guide me!” but not even the echoes return my plea.
When the eyes close, mind starts to rebel, and memory conquers my soul and strings me with longing
for a time when I can speak my mind, and tell you of the things that rot with the maggots and fleas.
I can hear your voice, ever so kindly affirming my deepest desires, lusts, and feelings,

but abruptly my eyes are awake, and the cave’s darkness sheds light on your vows of betrayal,
and I swallow again, and the quake of my hand reveals what’s inside me.  The rock of your love
lays rest on your finger, and yet you have fooled me to digging this hole and living denial.
Yet as I lay here, and continue to swallow my words and feed to the rot inside, my love
is proven in these things unspoken, for I will never reveal to the world what you truly are.