i'm terrified that if i write these thoughts down,
i'll feel emptier than i do right now.
but here i am, tapping away,
wondering if i should ditch work today.
went to the chiropractor for no good reason-
told him to 86 the neck adjustment.
last i did it, my head felt light. but i read somewhere that it might lead to stroke.
avoiding death, now that's a joke.
if i could just snap my spine, it could be alright.
but a gradual fade isn't much of a change
from right now.
so I buckle down,
i don't need any pity
and hospital wards give me the heebie jeebies.
i don't live a sad life, i shouldn't feel shitty.
but the hormones that rage and gave me these titties,
could be why
it could be tonight.
too tired to live,
too wired to die.