soon enough i'll be below the ground
or perhaps decimated into ash
and captured in a marble urn
in the arms of someone i could never picture not loving
or on the mantle of a fireplace in
the home of a barely relevant
family member
claiming they only wanted the best
but sincerely because my will
included their name.

and it makes you think if anything was ever worth it
why be conceived, why hold another living being
inside of you for 9 whole months
just to watch them burn themselves alive
or suffocate while testing the limits in a frozen over lake

my lungs were never really that strong, to be honest,
and i might just convince myself of the same to my heart