today I could
rest underneath my
grandfather's tree
for hours and hours and hours
but we no longer live there
& he no longer lives

I no longer enjoy the taste
of caramel coffee
& you're no longer afraid to
tell me how you feel
which frightens me
I daydreamed you up in my
kitchen
as I made the gross coffee
they were out of mocha
you offered to wash my dishes
'cause that's the gentleman you are
but then I remembered myself
& my stack of filthy plates

do you feel this sad
when you come back to reality?

I could sleep forever
just sleep
'cause all my dreaming
takes place
when my eyes are open

& I understand that you'll never
stand in my kitchen
though you're still alive
& not the one
sleeping in the ashes
we buried beneath the tree