All that is left of me is
organs and blood
brains and hatred for those who forgot me.
Looking for that piece of me I lost long ago, when I wronged and rebelled.
I crave wholeness in cigarettes and men, scars and sleep.
I just need
wholeness.
To be whole again. To rid of this hole in my heavens. To renew the youth in my lungs. To restore the glory in my eyes. To cry in lieu of joy, smiles, laughter and infinite hope.