I am tired,
weak at the knees,
bound by this light,
suffocated by the trees,
lay me down and let me ease.

I am blind,
Tedious to the touch,
Your euphoria my eternal crutch.

I am awake,
restless at night,
the vision of you in the cross-hair of my sight,
trembling up my arms I subdue into you,
heroine on your lips,
the sweet taste of pain,
the death of me will be your disdain.

I am enraged,
deranged for that fact,
you sink the needles of your teeth in me and that's, that,
I feel you sinking into my veins,
cradling my demons in this silk white cage,
I am your puppet on this quicksand of a stage.

I am saddened,
deepened in fear,
seeping down these numb gray walls,
I sense your energy,
Yet, I cannot hear,
they gave me a medal, yeah,
"Saddest Kid Of The Year."

I am in the spotlight,
cold in decay,
A shrine of you in my darkened array,
You doll me up and tell me "stay."
the velvet fell from your lips spilled into my soul,
shattered the pieces of a heart you used to call whole.

Now I stand on this podium of rot I've build for myself,
It's where they put people like us when you live on the top shelf,
While a crowd of you stands in roaring ovation,
You were my warning,
now I have this citation,
I'll never pay it off 'cause happiness is vacation.


- Tammy Cusick
TM 2017