Feb 2017
She smiles,
I try not to,
But we both know my weakness lies somewhere between her lips. So I do that thing where I smile and frown at the same time, as I mumble "it's not funny" under my breath.
This, this was our language of love, but it didn't always come easy.
I'm still learning to take hints, especially from damsels in distress, they paint the worst pictures, with shaky hands and nothing to work with but red and grey.
You, you came into my life like a basketball going out of bounds, with ******* men chasing after you, each bounce lower than the last till you met me where I've always been. It took me a few tries to learn that you can't play football with a basketball, somethings are meant to fit in your hands, she liked to be held, so I did this, as often as she allowed me to.
Every time I said women are complexity, she always replied with "men are uncertainty". If I was ever grey Miss, this is the black and white.
You are the dream of all my dreams. A cloud made of silver strings trying not to rain, but trusting the sun to make a rainbow even if you fail. Trusting me to do that thing where I smile and frown at the same time, something to tickle your cheeks when tears are forcing them to be more river than mountain. I'm sorry if I failed you sometimes, men are raised to be more rock than water, not knowing when to flow around you.
I still think of you everyday, most days not even because I miss you, but because I'm terrified I'll forget what your smile looks like, what your laugh sounds like, what the hair at the back of your neck feels like every time I kiss your belly button. On days when I catch myself smiling, your name is the mumble under my breath. We will forever be that picture of grey and red, an uncertain man trying to paint rainbows.
I've wrapped my entire body in a bandage of time, hoping to resurrect as someone who doesn't love you as much. But I've settled for being another black man chasing a basketball going out of bounds, or at least, at least let me catch the rebound.
I try not to,
But we both know my weakness lies somewhere between her lips. So I do that thing where I smile and frown at the same time, as I mumble "it's not funny" under my breath.
This, this was our language of love, but it didn't always come easy.
I'm still learning to take hints, especially from damsels in distress, they paint the worst pictures, with shaky hands and nothing to work with but red and grey.
You, you came into my life like a basketball going out of bounds, with ******* men chasing after you, each bounce lower than the last till you met me where I've always been. It took me a few tries to learn that you can't play football with a basketball, somethings are meant to fit in your hands, she liked to be held, so I did this, as often as she allowed me to.
Every time I said women are complexity, she always replied with "men are uncertainty". If I was ever grey Miss, this is the black and white.
You are the dream of all my dreams. A cloud made of silver strings trying not to rain, but trusting the sun to make a rainbow even if you fail. Trusting me to do that thing where I smile and frown at the same time, something to tickle your cheeks when tears are forcing them to be more river than mountain. I'm sorry if I failed you sometimes, men are raised to be more rock than water, not knowing when to flow around you.
I still think of you everyday, most days not even because I miss you, but because I'm terrified I'll forget what your smile looks like, what your laugh sounds like, what the hair at the back of your neck feels like every time I kiss your belly button. On days when I catch myself smiling, your name is the mumble under my breath. We will forever be that picture of grey and red, an uncertain man trying to paint rainbows.
I've wrapped my entire body in a bandage of time, hoping to resurrect as someone who doesn't love you as much. But I've settled for being another black man chasing a basketball going out of bounds, or at least, at least let me catch the rebound.
