Words of molten lava burst through my head as if it's the earth's crust.
I am angry today.
And long past the self pity of my own depression and moved to a stage of allowing the bullets to burn into my skull red hot.
The smell of gasoline and lighter fluid fill my nostrils as I stand watching my feelings and emotional connections to life go aflame until they are no more than small embers in the black soot filled in my heart.
Hatred takes over as I am a marionette for the devil as he pulls my strings allowing me to dance blindly, succumbing to his diabolical quests ruining my stature of being a human being.
Can you tell I'm troubled?
I shake with rage, finding myself curious of why I am so angry only to allow my curiosity to feed the flame of my madness.
Madness as in both my insanity and my rage.
I am a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
Waiting to fill the world with black.
Waiting to leave a stain on this earth that is not cleanable.
Waiting to leave a message bigger than the memorandums I write to myself to not **** anyone or myself today.
Oh how I will hate myself when I am in a good mindset and regret these words.
But these are the words that are true that lie under the surface of a smiling face.
A facade long worn out, now faded and cracked.
A bonfire lights inside me as my blood boils, skin melting off until I burst into a ball of flames.
Destroy. Destroy. Destroy. Destroy. Destroy.
My patience has long since run out and I am hurting.
I cry out loud and people just walk past.
I hate you. All of you.
I originally only wished to help and feel your pain in understanding of your trials for connecting with you through empathy and sympathy.
Now I just want you to hurt.
You just allow me to hurt and watch me self destruct, an innocent bystander who meant no harm.
Our world is selfish and people will always have their self interest at first.
I have lost my mind.
My world is burning around me.
Nothing is left.