" Houston, we've hit bottom" is what I constantly think on nights like tonight. I honestly thought I was far from bottom, that somehow there was a fog that made an inch seem like a mile. I have so many thoughts about so many things, things that are not good. Things that make me feel like I'm the bad one. I'm the reason why I barely have anyone. But then I remember I am. I was the one who realized that these people were ****** more than anything. I pulled a Trump and built a wall around the things that I couldn't bear to deal with. 18 wasn't supposed to be like this, I was supposed to have my  huge family crying over me leaving but really there are only a few. The few people that count.