Yet I sit and ponder within a shallow light she that lovingly caused each lonely night. Internal commotion aside, reflecting on external emotions I hide—but let's not stand on principle here. I know what's easier to discover when lost, except that which I've found to be the most important. That frustrating thing that life's complications have cost. I know I cannot sit behind words, a silently debonair grin intended to swoon, especially considering you won't even see me soon. I'm just pent up love mixed with longing anger looking in no certain direction for the thing I want. And for the first time, I really think for the first time, I know what I want…how I hate the fact. Depressed and lonely is forgivable, but lonely and knowledgeable of what it is I've lacked? How embarrassing.

Regardless, I'll take a moment to contemplate and remember sun-lit fountains splashing frigid water on petite feet, clouds beckoning my mind, and vibrant gray orbs reading me naked. I'll knock on the sky and slip this note under the door—maybe you'll find it and know what it's for. I miss you, even before I was smart enough to lock you away in my memory…even before then, I think I missed you.