there are no classes you can take, wiki how links you can read up on or people you can seek for advice, to prepare yourself for walking in on your lover consuming a bottle of pills.
hypothetically i think we can all come up with some things we say we would do to try to organize ourselves for a situation such as this, but when you walk in the bathroom and the lips you love to kiss are blue, i think we all forget procedure.
they mumble "i am sorry" as the light is flickering on and off in their eyes and there is no ******* way that those can be their last words.
your lover lay cold in your lap as you cradle them, you're comparing them to summer when they would sit in your passenger seat and rejoice silly songs, to now, while they are shivering with deaths voice playing like a music box behind their eyes.
she looks like a gutted building you think to yourself. you forgot to pay the electricity bill and the lights are going out, she's not breathing.
you plead for them just to stick their fingers down their throat, to get rid of the pills, to live.
this is the part where they stumble out a sum of words that maybe form a sentence of something that sounds an awful lot like "did you really mean all those hurtful things you said?" and you can't help but sink so deep inside of your own body that the ringing in your ears seems to stop, but it doesn't, it's just hollowed out by the sound of your own absence.