please teach me quantum mechanics and the way particles of light move through space
i am begging you to lecture me on your views of hedonism, nihilism, and every kind of-ism you can think of
grab me by the hips and pull me in close,
lean in and let me feel your hot breath, and kiss the tales of all kinds of fiction stories onto words on my neck
i want to be taught every kind of thing i dont already know
and well versed in every type of poetry out there

allow me to digress, if only momentarily, the gravitational pull of the situation at hand
my heart is aching in a different form tonight
my thoughts move from place to place
just like an indecisive snake
the dawning of not achieving expectations
of where i want to be
if only modest ones
have calls to action
not beautiful, where do i go from here?
i have stored up hatred among the jarred feelings i cannot express
i cannot even admit them
to myself
i recognize that i feel a certain way but i do not accept;
this method of expression is my sole form of ventilation
i’m shouting out into the skies,
pedaling on my bicycle
i cant find my feelings anywhere
they arent where they are supposed to be