My face lights up at the mere mention of your name
Pathetic
I run to my phone
hoping its your contact I'm greeted by on the screen
Pathetic
My teacher asks me why I'm not paying attention
Pathetic
I tell her I'm tired
Pathetic
but really
I'm can't stop thinking about you
Pathetic
I cant sleep
Pathetic
- wishing i was in your arms
Pathetic
You make me feel protected
Pathetic
Yet so vulnerable
Pathetic

We stay up talking about the world
Pathetic
You take me out to lunch-
-I cant stop smiling
Pathetic
I love your eyes
Pathetic
I love your smile
Pathetic
I love your unwavering sarcasm
Pathetic
I love that you always know whats going on in the news
not pathetic
I loved that I  could always count on you
-
...I hate that i believed that.

I saw you with her
Pathetic
Through the glass window of our favorite cafe
Pathetic
You took a toll on my mind
Pathetic
-And I let you
Pathetic

I cant sleep at night-
Wondering why I wasn't good enough
I turned off my phone-
To avoid the temptation of calling you
I skipped lunch-
Because I couldn't stomach the thought of you
You made me see the world differently-
But I hate this version without you


I hate your messy hair
Pathetic
I hate your quick wit
Pathetic
I hate the way you read your stupid books
And the way you listened to your stupid songs
I hate the way your mouth curled, and your eyes glimmered with passion when you talked about your stupid poems
-
-I hate that I'm lying
Pathetic
I hate that I miss those things


I hate that I cant help it
Pathetic
I hate that I can't help but think about you-
Pathetic
with her-
Pathetic
I cant help that it breaks me
The image of her in my seat of our cafe
The image of her in my seat of any  place
I hate that I cant help that shes better for you
I hate that you chose her
I hate that i 100% understand why, I mean who wouldn't
Lets face it
I hate that I just cant help but be anything other
   than, hm what's the word I'm looking for?
So fricking
pathetic.