your head is always in front of mine
you are the view blocking the moon
i feel my knees unlocking, spine unclenching
to dive into the cycles of your hair

before
i was intimate with all
i had lovers in bean sprouts, molluscks, damp winds
my days were humid with things I could see

i woke this morning under a red pillow
an arm heavy just below rib cage
a leg strewn across unlocked knee caps
i decided not to gasp

rather, i did not know how to gasp
carbon, in every single element
somehow
i am screaming at you for hiding

how did i get here?