i cross and uncross my legs and the look of
disdain goes from sour to worse and still worse till
it feels as though i'm going to implode through my nose

and we're on this journey together, or so i tell
myself still that i get to sleep at night,
so that doesn't keep me up all night,
this feeling that a fear i can't escape is
something that will with me always...

so i summon up worse fates to endure, worse lives
to live...but in truth this is the hell i've always
tried to escape--

and anger ideas great ensuring self-worth when
self-worth is nowhere around, but just look what
it does to sleep, look how i'm up like a shot
when i need to be dead took the world that i might
rise when it's really my and pretend once again
i'm alive,

look at how there is no journey but this one
and
how there is no "we," just me--