it seems as though once you feel like your life is perfect and for once everything is going great
that eventually that all just fades away
you begin to realize all of the faults and flaws in your life
that you still are that terrible, broken person you were two years ago
I feel lost and confused
my head races with painful words
I've always wished to be someone that I am not
where I have a wonderful life that brings no torture to my mind
where I have friends and people who care when I'm down
where I don't have mental illnesses that affect my everyday life
where for once I can be happy all year and not just a day out of the month
every agonizing feeling takes complete control of my body and I can never feel myself again until a horrible breakdown occurs and I heal in three days
none of this makes sense
I can't even write anymore
I am good for n o t h i n g