Strange
The lockers don't matter
My body doesn't matter
But here we are
I left my hair down because you said it was ****, and now your fingers are tangled
But it doesn't matter how long I spent in the gym this week when your eyes are closed
I do not feel pretty held up against the hallway outside of class

And we brace ourselves against anything and everything
All of my muscles are tensed against your body
My spine is straight against the wall
I didn't know I was capable of that kind of starkness
The inability to collapse
Of all things, you are not gentle

All of my nervous habits dissipated into your saliva
I don't know where to put my hands
You seem so practiced
I wonder if I taste like every other girl
I wonder if the mud from my shoes mixed on the spot that I'm standing with everyone else's
Or maybe you took them somewhere new
I knew that I wasn't special as you tugged on my kidneys
You couldn't even drag me into a bathroom stall
We were in the hallway
We were picked up on three security cameras
But of course, we both know that
"Nobody was watching"

Things are quiet here
I'm not sure I noticed when you left because my mind was so engulfed in how to get away
It's hard to feel empowered when you've submitted yourself to becoming part of the paint on the wall
I forgot that you would get bored with me
You weren't seductive or intimidating
You were just soft
You were nothing out of my nightmares but that didn't make you safe
And now we're walking home in the rain writing **** poems