for all those that had and have to.

Because my father drank and forgot to shop.
Because sometimes barren shelves can make
Me say “yum” to trouble. Bring it on. Just watch.
See if I don’t form a meal out of a fifteen minute browse.
See if I don’t howl “jackpot!” when I arrive back home.
See if I don’t have the family opening bags and sneaking bites
And turning stovetops and laying plates and stocking fridges and
Filling glasses and grabbing utensils and smelling the score and finding
Themselves laughing as their full bellies take form.

Because after awhile I enjoyed it. I found thrill
With resistance and risk and crime and trouble. A way
To spite to the abandoners. The ones that made me sniffle
At night and feel weak and worthless. Unloved.
No more!
When I walk into a store and save $20 I am sure that when
My dad relapses I will have a backup plan beyond the grandparents
That turn pale and tired each time they get one of those calls.
No more!
They’re old enough and so am I; and plus, there will be moments when
Those calls will come after 911 and they’ll have to speed over to the house.

Because I got away with it.

Because the television was on.

Because free is non-existent.